Break me, Hold me
by The Corsair's Quill
Summary: Emma feels like a monster, a beast. It's up to Killian to show her the beauty underneath. 4x08 speculation.


"Henry!" Emma shouted, her voice breaking as he flew through the air because of her magic.

"I'm-I'm fine, mom," he wheezed. "Just winded," he tried to reassure her, but she was already running away, further into the wood. David and Killian had just gotten into the clearing, when they saw Henry on the ground.

"Henry! You alright?" David crouched beside him.

"Yes." Turning to Killian, he added, "She ran into the woods. You need to find her!"

Nodding, the pirate left to search for his princess.

And he needn't have gone far, either. He stumbled upon a clearing, 15-minutes from where he left David with Henry, where Emma was standing, shaking from trying to gain control over her magic. Leaves and mud and tree branches were flying about, he was afraid it might accidentally harm her.

"Wh-What are you doing here?!" she exclaimed, her throat thick with tears, her face wet with them.

His heart strings pulled to see her in pain, tears gathering behind his own eyes.

"_I told you to stay away from me!_" she shouted over the racket of the wind. The clouds gathered in a storm as she visibly shook. _"Go away."_

"Emma...Darling, I'm not going anywhere," he began, ducking right before and errant branch hit him. But seeing it made Emma lose control even more.

"No, please. Please- Stay away from me," she sobbed, her hands held up as she tried to bring her magic under control. "_Please, _Killian. I-I do-don't want to hurt you!"

He wanted to step closer, wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. But he knew he couldn't. He wasn't worried about it, he just didn't want to scare Emma further.

"You _won't._" he implored. "I trust you, love."

"You shouldn't!" she shouted, sparks flying out her outstretched hand, making her fist them. "I am a monster."

He couldn't take in any longer, his jaw clenched as he stalked forward. "Don't!" Emma warned, stumbling backwards until her back hit a tree. "_DON'T! Killian, _please stay away," she sobbed brokenly.

He stopped a few feet away from her, his hands held up in surrender. "I won't, Emma. You need to know, _I am not afraid of you._ You are _not_ a monster. You are as far away from a monster as anyone can be."

She slumped against the tree, all energy having left her. "But I am, Killian. I hurt my dad. I hurt _Henry_. My own son," she sobbed, her face cradled in her hands. "My mother wouldn't even let me _hold my brother_."

Killian felt her pained cries embed in his heart like a shard of glass. "Emma, sweetheart, you can control your magic. You won't hurt anyone. I promise."

"How can you _possibly _know? I hurt my own son. I don't want to hurt you, too."

"I told you once, lass. I know you better than you know yourself. And I _know_ you are stronger than you think you are. Your fear is holding you back, Emma. Don't let it."

"I-I don't know how to stop it," she whimpered, her eyes meeting his for the first time since he entered the clearing.

And he wished he didn't have to ever see Emma this way again, broken and defeated. But he held her gaze as he slowly moved towards her, his eyes never leaving hers, giving her the silent support she needs.

She shook so much he was afraid she was going to hurt herself, as she held her hands up in an attempt to stop him from advancing. But he barely heeded her, his own hand coming up to entwine with one of hers, resisting the magic trying to push him away.

And the whole while he held her gaze, showing he that he was not afraid, that he _loved _her, supported her. Will always protect her.

She sniffled, her tears an endless stream down her face. "See? I told you, you were strong enough," he said softly, hoping to coax a smile from her.

His grin was wide when he succeeded, her lips quivering slightly upwards. "I'm so scared, Killian," she admitted, her back still against the tree.

"Of what, my love?" he probed, willing her to confide in him.

"Of hurting my family, people I love. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to end up like her." she openly sobbed, hiccoughing.

"Oh, Swan," he sighed. "I can't promise that it will be easy, but I swear to you, that I will be there with you every step of the way. You, love of mine," he removed his hand from hers, pressing it against her own heart, "You have the _purest_ heart I've ever had the privilege of knowing, of _loving. _You are nothing like her, I assure you, love.

"You won't hurt them. You have Elsa, the lass is almost as strong and brave as you are. And you have Regina. They'll help you gain control over your magic. But most importantly," he took a deep breath, "you have your family and I, who is _always_ support you."

He brought his hand up, cupping her face gently, as if she were made of glass, and thumbing at the place near her mouth. "Please, don't shut us out, darling."

And she broke. Her heaving sobs rattling her frame so much she had to lean against Killian for support. He didn't shush her, he didn't say anything, simply let her cry it out as he held her tight, silently stroking her hair, hoping to ever deity he knows to help his beautiful, strong Swan find her way.

* * *

><p><strong>Aren't reviews mandatory nowadays?<strong>


End file.
